Building Self Esteem With Guidance
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Would you believe that how you build your
self esteem could contribute to a life crisis? Building self esteem
is getting to know who you are and liking who you are. In the
evenings, rather than tweet or write on walls, I usually write as I
watch TV or make myself busy promoting what I write to promote my
websites.
Every now and then I hear a gem of a comment that rings through as
I'm working away on my lap top. And here's a gem of a statement that
is the essence of self esteem. Not that anyone would ever want to
say this as it certainly is as a result of tremendous misfortune.
However, should one find oneself in such misfortune it's definitely
what you want to be able to say and mean.
Here is the gem, “Everything I ever had is gone. All I have is who I
am.” The essence of this is a person who has developed his/her self
esteem on self and not on what he/she had. Very few of us actually
do this as often our self esteem is tied into what we do. We're
someone's husband or wife, mother or father; we're our work; we're
our hobbies; we're our skills; we're our looks or physique; we're
our accomplishments; we're our bank accounts or portfolios; and
we're our interests.
Because we build self worth with our accomplishments and skills,
when we lose them we are a set up for life crisis. Life crisis has
to do with how we define ourselves. Life crisis has to do with our
attachments to our definitions of ourselves. When the definition of
who we are changes, life crisis is the result until we redefine
ourselves. This means the average person probably goes through a
half dozen life crisis during a life time. And all because of how we
chose to build self esteem.
The question is: How do we build or improve self esteem or self
worth? The answer is to start by appreciating everything we have the
opportunity to do and accomplish and stay away from being addicted
to what we do and accomplish.
Next is to know that you are a child of the universe deserving of
love and respect. It's to move beyond self judgments and self
criticism. You are one of a kind and can never be duplicated. But
what usually stands in the way of recognizing this is that we
compare ourselves with others and come up with realizations such as,
“I'm not as good looking as _______.” Or “I'm not as smart as
________.” Or, “I'm not as popular as _________ .” And sure enough
from a particular time in life that may seem true, but in reality
its just an excuse.
For example, I always blamed my lack of success with the opposite
sex with my poor looks. It seemed reasonable because the guys who
were successful were better looking than I. Yet from time to time I
noticed fellows who were in my opinion down right ugly being very
successful with women and I had no answer. I observed their
confident demur with women and asked myself, “How could they develop
such a care free attitude with women? I'm a lot better looking than
he is and I don't know the first thing about how to attract a woman.
” So my belief about not being good looking enough was flawed.
Needless to say it was a confusing time in my life and there were a
lot of disappointments with the opposite sex. I didn't like myself
very much. And strangely enough from time to time I find a pretty
gal that was attracted to me. And then I'd wonder what was wrong
with them. “Why would they like me?”
Strangely enough I had less respect for them simply because I
thought that if they liked me (and I didn't like myself) something
must be wrong with them. Yet when a relationship would end, I'd be
desperate in my loss and experience a life crisis. Strange!
Without any real guidance it took many years to sort things through
and get to the point where I really liked me and was grateful for
those who were attracted to me and loved me.
Ultimately I learned that the way I was building self worth led to
several life crisis. The goal is to get where we can know that if we
have our accomplishments great, if we lose them we can be
disappointed in their loss and still like ourselves. That's it in a
nut shell. Fortunately there are self help mp3 downloads available
to guide one in achieving this goal.
Resource Box: Richard Kuhns NGH certified
has been empowering others through his writings published on the
internet for over three years. His best selling self help mp3
downloads are at
http://www.DStressDoc.com and to learn more about building
true self esteem please go to
http://www.SelfEsteemCure.com